Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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