I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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