I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
