Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
