You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Randomize
