The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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