It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I deserve this hangover.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
