Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
