Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
