I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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