Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
