Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
