is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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