come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Its about making memories worth repressing
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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