I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
