my mouth tastes like poor choices
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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