There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
