Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
