dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
