wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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