Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Text me some of your sweat
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
