I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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