I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
