he shaved USA in his pubs
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
