whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
