Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
