It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
