It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
