this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
do herpes really smell.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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