Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
