He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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