The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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