Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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