we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
