it's like iHOP with fire
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
this is an emotional support booty call
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
