Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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