I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You need a sexual gate keeper
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
