Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
