We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
