she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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