Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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