You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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