No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
