I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
