remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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