i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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