Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
