Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
