Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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