I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
