Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
