Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
