The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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