Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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